this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need water and some morals
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
