You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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