STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can text with my tongue
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
