We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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