considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize