I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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