So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
