and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
