I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
