It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
