the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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