One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize