im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just invented taco cereal.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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