just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
