dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
