Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
