Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
