i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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