too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
