I just saw a hot homeless man
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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