I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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