Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
