my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
