you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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