you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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