I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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