sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize