I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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