He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
