I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I deserve to be covered in dicks
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
