He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
