We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
