living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sorry about my life...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
