well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
