Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
