Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
