So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
okay pat passed out under dana's car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
