After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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