Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The best revenge is premature balding
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
