btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
