I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
