I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do herpes really smell.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
