I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
