Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
