I'm going to jail i love you
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
