One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
