She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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