almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize