I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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