After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
