Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
