You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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