Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
