He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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