Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
