I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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