eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
