Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
